Making it the Hard Way
Is there a reward for telling the whole truth? No matter what they say, good cheaters really do win. They win, and they don't get caught. That's what cheating is: winning the game because you aren't following the rules. There's no special material reward for playing by the rules.
Sometimes, like when you are staring at that traffic cop and trying to decide whether to tell the whole story about the fender bender, the result of telling the truth is a traffic ticket you can't afford and a car repair bill you have to foot yourself. But I think it is necessary, really necessary, to tell the truth when lying affects other people's happiness. Telling the truth is so easy when there are no costs, and so hard when the price is your happiness.
Now there are times not to tell the truth. When you care about someone and the truth could hurt them greatly, then maybe a kind lie is preferable. When lying doesn't hurt anyone and gets you out of that speeding ticket, you should make up stories like crazy. My friends have opined that when someone wants to know something about them that is none of their business, like how they are feeling, lying is a fine way to put them off. I am not so good at knowing when to do that, but I think they are right.
But I think you have to be careful with lies. Lies, even kind ones, are far thornier than the truth, and can hurt much more if they are ever discovered. Lies are like holding a knife by the blade--they always hurt someone, even if only a little. I didn't know this for a long time, but even telling little lies hurts the one who tells them. One day you may wake up to discover you are bruised and tender inside, and wonder what in the world happened to you.
The only reward I have been able to see for telling the whole truth is respect. When the bottom of the world fell out, you told the truth and can walk home proud of who you are. Maybe other people will respect you for it too, but it's more likely they will never know. Pride's cold comfort, but that's all you get, sometimes.
Sometimes, like when you are staring at that traffic cop and trying to decide whether to tell the whole story about the fender bender, the result of telling the truth is a traffic ticket you can't afford and a car repair bill you have to foot yourself. But I think it is necessary, really necessary, to tell the truth when lying affects other people's happiness. Telling the truth is so easy when there are no costs, and so hard when the price is your happiness.
Now there are times not to tell the truth. When you care about someone and the truth could hurt them greatly, then maybe a kind lie is preferable. When lying doesn't hurt anyone and gets you out of that speeding ticket, you should make up stories like crazy. My friends have opined that when someone wants to know something about them that is none of their business, like how they are feeling, lying is a fine way to put them off. I am not so good at knowing when to do that, but I think they are right.
But I think you have to be careful with lies. Lies, even kind ones, are far thornier than the truth, and can hurt much more if they are ever discovered. Lies are like holding a knife by the blade--they always hurt someone, even if only a little. I didn't know this for a long time, but even telling little lies hurts the one who tells them. One day you may wake up to discover you are bruised and tender inside, and wonder what in the world happened to you.
The only reward I have been able to see for telling the whole truth is respect. When the bottom of the world fell out, you told the truth and can walk home proud of who you are. Maybe other people will respect you for it too, but it's more likely they will never know. Pride's cold comfort, but that's all you get, sometimes.
posted by Tree Texan at 7:44 PM
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